It’s been a while, hasn’t it!? But here I am with a big ol’ update…..so you may just wanna grab a glass of your favorite and settle on in! The good Lord knows I tend to get lost and ramble on a bit.
You’ve heard that old saying that “life is a journey”, right? That ain’t no joke. When I first began this journey it was all about my ride with Ryleigh and trying to figure out why on earth this dog trainer/behavior consultant (me) that has spent an entire career working with various levels of aggressive dogs could possibly have all these anxieties and fears with this giant Golden Retriever tempered QH?
How does that happen!?
A few years into it, everything made a turn when I discovered that I had been living my whole stinkin’ life with anxiety, fear, some on and off depression….but I had successfully been covering it up because it was MY secret.
I was fakin’ it just fine, thanks!
And then yet another turn happened when I started discovering the truth. All the different reasons why my entire life was a hot mess……and the biggest discovery of all was learning how much of my life I had really blocked out.
A person doesn’t just block out stuff randomly. A person doesn’t block out good things. Shit happened! And all of that led me to a fork in the road. “Do I wanna keep going as I have been? Believing things about myself that I was taught to believe? Or do I wanna start walking this new path and finally discover who I really am?”
You guessed it. I chose the latter. And what a path it has been!
It has been exciting, revealing, scary, nerve-wrecking, spiritual, tough, rewarding, messy, sad, happy, flawed…..all rolled into one me.
But that’s the perfect part. It has all – every bit of it – led me to ME.
For so many years, I was the girl that was terrified – for so many reasons – to make friends.
I was the girl that had to look in the mirror a gazillion times before stepping out the door to make sure I was dressed the way everyone thought I should dress. You know…dressed so that nobody would make fun of me because no part of ME was showing through….I was wearing what everyone else was wearing! (Even though I was so not comfortable!)
I was the girl that didn’t dare speak up for what I believed in because it might be different than what everyone else believed in….and that meant it was wrong.
I was the girl that would step aside and let everyone walk past me without ever seeing me because I truly believed I wasn’t worth seeing.
I was the girl that would sit home alone every single night wondering what I could possibly do to fit in.
When Cowgirl Dreams became Cowgirl Dreams Co. we began with a line of logo wear and expressive statement pieces that seemed to resonate with so many people. And I was having so much fun designing and learning a totally different thing from dog training. Three of the biggest sellers that we will never get rid of are “She believed she could so she did”, “Pure Badassery” and our newest “#liveauthentic”….which is three of the biggest statements behind Cowgirl Dreams Co.!
This new adventure became all I could think about! And I had some really, really great people cheering me on the whole way! How blessed am I?
And somewhere during my steps down this path, I started discovering me. I started peeling back the mess that I’d been hiding under for so many years and I was totally loving what I was finding.
I started feeling a taste of freedom! When I try to think of a comparison, I always think of the movie “Footloose” (one of my favorites!) and the preacher’s daughter starting to live by her own rules. That. Was. Me.
I was learning who I was, what made me tick and there was nobody that was gonna tell me what to wear, what I needed to do to fit in, what to think, how to feel…….none of it!
Funny thing right here. Now I’m met with .“You’re 55 years old….you can’t change careers now…you can’t wear that…you can’t do that…you can’t BE that.”
Who says??? Just watch me.
So here I am. Taking yet another turn in this path that I’ve been on for a couple years now and I’m so stinkin’ excited about it! And that’s why I’m here…..I want to share it with YOU.
I am so excited to let you know that Cowgirl Dreams Co. is now a “fashion boutique”! The line falls under “The Boho Cowgirl” and we’re slowly but surely stocking Miranda (the name of our fabulous traveling trailer!) with all those looks that everyone seems to love……..and that people used to look at me funny for wearing! (Because you should only wear your cowboy boots to the barn. Or a concert. Right?)
Funny how life turns around, isn’t it?
I recently did an event and one of my items hanging in Miranda are these awesome suede fringe vests. Gray. Caramel. And brown. And two different incidents put a big ol’ smile on my face and let me know I really was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing at this point in my life.
The first incident….a young (maybe early 20’s?) girl walked into Miranda with a few of her friends and while they were looking at all the tank tops, this one particular girl was fawning all over the fringe vests. She tried a caramel one on and she looked so cute in it! While she was looking in the mirror, one of her friends walked over and said “that’s really cute but you can’t wear that! This isn’t the west, ya know.”
I was quiet. The girl wearing the vest spun around to her friend and boldly told her “I can wear this wherever I want….it’s so ME!”
The second incident was a woman somewhat older than me. She and her husband stepped into Miranda and she immediately went to the vests, pulled down a gray one and put it on. Her husband started smiling and said “no matter what it costs, you NEED that vest….it’s so YOU!”
Both ladies walked out of Miranda that day with a new vest…..and you wanna know what I was most happy about? Not the actual sales I made, but the fact that these two women, years apart in age, we’re gonna wear whatever THEY wanted, whatever made THEM feel good and not let anyone tell them that they couldn’t!
So, here I go! And I hope you’ll all continue on this journey with me….with all it’s twists, turns, stumbles and most of all – pure joy and excitement! I really, truly believe that this is exactly where God wants me.
And who would have ever thought that all of this….everything I’ve experienced over the last few years…the changes that have happened within me and the person I’ve grown into…all began with this beautiful soul.