I mean to yourself.
Are you talkin’ crap to yourself?
Have you really ever even thought about how you talk to yourself? Or how much you talk to yourself?
Probably not. But let me tell ya…..I was the biggest crap self-talker EVA! It’s true.
Don’t be me. And to help you avoid that dark hole, I want you to give the exercises that follow a try. Like, I want you to give it your best effort….because I really want you to see how your subconscious could (probably IS) limiting you! Limiting you from living a truly fulfilled life.
Ready? Here we go:
- Check in on your feelings. The first step is to really recognize your feelings. If you feel miserable most of the time, it could very well be because you have a pessimistic look on life. (Seriously…trust me on this one! I am getting better but yo girl has always been the Queen of the Land of Pessimistic!) Being a pessimist generally makes your self-talk all kinds of ugly and girl, talk about an energy drainer……not to mention of life sucker! Pay close attention to what you say to yourself. Does it sound anything like….
- My life is always messed up
- I’m not good at anything
- I can’t do this
- I’ll never be…….
- I don’t fit in
- I’m not as smart as
These are just a few examples of how we continuously talk ugly to ourselves……and these came to my mind easily because they’re the few that I’m for sure guilty of. I can’t. I don’t. I’m not. Girl….YES YOU CAN. Yes, you do. And yes you are!
We need to STOP! Seriously…..would you say the things you say to yourself to a good friend? Or even a stranger on the street? I doubt it. So why are we so quick to do it to ourselves?
- Talk positive to people. If you see that most of your talking consists of negative but you’re struggling to change that self-talk to positive, try doing it with someone else. Have a conversation with someone and be mindful that everything you say is positive! No complaining. No stewing. Honestly, negative people are energy suckers (and I hate that I was that person!) and surrounding yourself with people that inspire you to think positive is life changing.
- Create your own personal positive mantra. Sound a little too far out there for you? Here me out. We get so used to all the negative self-talk that sometimes we don’t even realize how often we do it and exactly what we might be saying to ourselves. Learning to recognize those thoughts, stop them and then replace with your own personal positive mantra will start teaching your mind to gravitate towards the positive. Here are a few to get you started but try to come up with some of your own as well. To start, pick one mantra and concentrate on it for several days.
- I choose happy
- I am blessed
- I have everything I need
- Life is good
- I am enough
- Engage in physical exercise. I know. I know. Who am I to tell you to engage in something physical when I’ve always been totally honest in the fact that I absolutely loathe to exercise!? So before I continue, let me make this perfectly clear so nobody can call me a hypocrite: the exercise I detest is anything in the form of using weights, machines, etc. Like, if exercise resembles actual exercise, I avoid it like the plague. (Probably could find a better choice of words right there but….) I LOVE being active. I love walking, hiking, swimming, yoga, chasing horses around, dancing……..so you get what I’m saying, right? Honestly….when I am active, my body image improves, my mental state improves and guess what – my overall health improves. Those brain chemicals – endorphins – get triggered and those trigger a positive feeling in your body and mind. Simply put, get moving and you’ll notice a change in your attitude…..and noticing a change in your attitude will help improve your self-talk!
- Feel those negative thoughts creeping in? Challenge them by asking yourself questions. As you begin to focus on your self-talk and can spot the difference between the positive and negative, start challenging the negative thoughts.
- Am I worrying too much about an imaginary situation?
- How can I find a solution?
- Why am I wasting energy on this rather than focusing on my strengths?
- Is this real or am I making it up in my head?
- Is worrying this to death going to change anything?
- Create your future rather than predict it. Whoa. What? You heard me. We are right back to that “what you think about, you bring about” that I’m forever preaching about! While you’re engaging in all that negative self-talk, do you realize that you’re actually asking the universe for MORE of what you don’t want?
- Positive affirmations are the best positive self-talk exercises! Honestly……they have a positive side effect. Positive affirmations can literally change your mindset and and get you started down the path of a better life. Here’s a few…..
- My life is good and success comes easily to me
- I am happy…I have a beautiful family and we are healthy
- I am unique
- I am able to accomplish everything I set my mind to
I was constantly tuning into negativity. Like, ONLY tuning into the negative because the positive was so fleeting in my life. I think I actually learned to believe that negative was just how things were going to go for me so that’s what I focused on. Always thinking things like “this is great but it won’t last” or “why can’t anything good ever happen?” And because that’s what I focused on, that’s what I got.
If you tune into your ugly, you owe it to yourself to find a way out. Spending your time focusing on the ugly is going to have serious consequences in all areas of your life – your overall health (trust me on this one!), relationships, your professional life……all the things. It brings anxiety, depression and solitude….and none of those things were meant for either of us.
We were meant for abundance and joy…..and those things can be yours. I promise.